THE CLOCK STARTS MONDAY
Circle Monday. Better yet, set an alarm: the 2026 Scranton Branch draft goes live Monday, August 17, at 9:00 AM Eastern — both divisions, both boards, at the same time. Two first-overall picks, two very different stories. In Accounting, the 1.01 belongs to Seth Dudley, drawn fair and square, and I expect a dignified, professional selection. In Sales, it belongs to John Fetsch — who joined this league dead last and now drafts before everyone. I've read the bylaws twice and there's nothing I can do about it. The random-order gods have spoken.
Here's how this works, because we're doing it differently this year. This is a slow draft — sixteen rounds of a typical snake draft, and every manager gets up to eight hours on the clock per pick. The clock pauses overnight (8 PM to 8 AM Central) so nobody loses their third-round pick to a good night's sleep. You can make your pick from the Sleeper app anytime, anywhere — the clock is a ceiling, and you're welcome to blow right past the drama and pick in forty seconds. However long it takes is however long it takes. Treat it like a long, glorious tailgate.
And you can watch every minute of it. Draft Central is live on the league site right now: both boards, who's on the clock, and a running tally of which division is drafting faster. Every pick also hits the ticker on the homepage as breaking news, because your reach for a kicker in the fourth-round deserves the full broadcast treatment.
The Order
Drawn at random, witnessed by the machine (and Kevin). A few notes from the selection show: I drew seventh in Sales, which I'm told is what integrity looks like.
Slot eight is the snake's whiplash seat, two picks back-to-back at every turn. In Sales that ride belongs to Amber Ekre. In Accounting it belongs to Kevin Malone — the house team, staffed entirely by one very confident algorithm (spreadsheet) — parked at slot eight per the Robot Rules. Kevin does not tilt, Kevin does not reach, and Kevin will absolutely take the best player available while you're still arguing with your group chat.
| Pick | Manager | Team |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | John Fetsch | Achane Reaction |
| 2 | William St. John | — |
| 3 | Jennifer Davis | — |
| 4 | James St Onge | — |
| 5 | Michelle Hall | The Potassium Powerhouses |
| 6 | Josh Cash | — |
| 7 | Thomas Danel | Missed it by THAT much |
| 8 | Amber Ekre | — |
| Pick | Manager | Team |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Seth Dudley | — |
| 2 | Monique Hartell | — |
| 3 | Shenika Brooks | — |
| 4 | Jason Harmon | — |
| 5 | Rebecca McGown | — |
| 6 | Robert Atwood | GreatLakesBob |
| 7 | Chase Blount | — |
| 8 | Kevin Malone | House Team |
A dash means the team name is still cooking. Get one in before Monday — this is the biggest stage your team will ever stand on, and it deserves a name.
League Notes
- Sixteen rounds, snake order. Rosters are sixteen deep: QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, two FLEX, K, DEF, and six on the bench.
- The pick clock runs 8 AM to 8 PM Central. Overnight, everything freezes where it stands.
- Kevin Malone is the league's house team and is ineligible for the playoffs. Kevin's picks are automated. Kevin has no comment at this time.
Sixteen rounds. Fifteen humans. One robot. See you Monday morning — and whatever you do, don't be the first person to draft a defense in round six. I will write about it.